Laws that are needed to be followed in Chaldea
by alexa005
Summary: When Ritsuka, Mash and the entire Chaldea staff are sick and tired of the Servants' shenanigans, they decided to create some laws in order for them to follow, but what will these laws do to the Servants? Chaos, of course! (Inspired by things that are no longer allowed to do fanfics)


**This will be my first fanfic in this fandom. Since I'm new to Fate/Grand Order and researching the rest (I watched Fate/Stay Night before) and this story can't get out of my head so here it goes!**

 **Disclaimer: Fate/Grand Order belongs to Type Moon. I only write this fic for pure fun.**

 **Second: English is my second language so you will encounter some grammatical errors in this story.**

 **Third: Spoilers to all Fate franchise (I done a lot a research) and the name of the Master will be the default name in the anime (she will be show up on the next chapter)**

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 **Chaldea Law 1: Under any circumstances, Gilgamesh and Ozymandias are NOT allowed to have a competition of 'who is the better King'. You two have the ego as big as a universe and create a huge mess with your NPs! Now stop squabbling before a certain Berserker impale you two with his lances!**

Florence Nightingale pinched the bridge of her noise in frustration at the scene that is in front of her. "This is not going to end well."

"What do you mean?" Robin Hood take a peek before sighing. "Those two again?"

"Who do you think it is?" Nightingale sighed again. "Now we knew why both Pendragons had enough of them."

The two Servants looked at the scene with a blank look on their faces. The scene? A huge crater with several Golems being dissembled and scattered on the ground. The cause? A certain King of Babylon and a certain Pharaoh who are now competing on who is better, with their NPs released with a bunch of insults thrown at each other.

Nightingale and Robin Hood looked at each other and only sighed.

* * *

"They're competing again?" Arthur asked the two exhausted Servants as he munched another snack. The two replied with a nod. "And I thought Emiya and Cu are the worst."

"At least, Lancer and Archer are only friendly rivals." Altria said as she munched another snack. "But those two are a bunch of idiots who has a bigger pride than the size of the Berserkers! If it weren't for my disadvantage against him, I would slice Gilgamesh in half with Excalibur!"

"And they call themselves Kings." Robin Hood concluded with his head banging on the table. He is seemed tired. "If it weren't for Enkidu interfering, we will be toast."

"Considering their NPs, they can destroy an entire universe if its in full power." Arthur shuddered, reminding him of his battle with Ozymandias with Arash as his companion. "If it weren't for me and Arash, Ozymandias should have won the first Holy Grail War."

"At least, things are settled now." Nightingale said as she sipped another cup of coffee. "With the Singularities are now restored, we should help our Master with her problem right now."

* * *

"Still being REJECTED by Altria again?!" Ozymandias insulted Gilgamesh then laughed mockingly. "At least, the Gods blessed me with Nefertiri's loyalty!"

"Oh, shut up!" Gilgamesh mocked him off. "At least, I'm still the BEST King, unlike SOMEONE who can't stop some calamities all by HIMSELF!"

Of course, these calamities that Gilgamesh mentioned snapped Ozymandias off. "Don't remind me of that, you **[BLEEP!]**!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"YOU SUCH AN **[BLEEP!]** , YOU MR-I'M-THE-BEST! "

"SHUT UP, YOU EGO PRIDED PHARAOH!"

"YOU WANNA FIGHT?!"

"BRING IT ON!" And the two proceeds to fight within the Chaldea hallways, causing some of the Servants and staff present began to run away, fearing being hit by their NPs.

* * *

Vlad III (the Berserker one) was walking in the hallways, carrying some of the Halloween costumes that Elizabeth wore in the said holiday. He had finished mending the costumes and he is going to deliver it to his fellow 'victim of human imagination' when he stumbled upon the two ego-prided Kings are now in the middle of their fight. Gilgamesh's 'Enuma Elish' began to attack at different directions, hitting on one of Elizabeth's costumes by accident.

This caused Vlad to get angry. " **WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU TWO EGO PRIDED [BLEEPS!] FIGHTING IN A DAMMED HALLWAY!"** He shouted at the top of his lungs, so loud that both Gilgamesh and Ozymandias halted their attacks and looked at Vlad.

They looked at the damaged costumes. "SHIT!"

" **YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU [BLEEPS!]**!" Vlad shouted as the two Kings' prideful looks was replaced by fearful ones when he began to unleash his NP at both of them.

Chaos ensures.

* * *

Nightingale pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration at the scene that is in front of her. "Well, I don't think that this ends well."

"What do you mean?" Robin Hood take a peek before he sighed. "Seems that they made Lord Impaler very angry."

"Considering 'Kazikly Bey' is so powerful and he's a Berserker, those two are toast." Nightingale sighed again. "Seems like a job for me to heal them."

The two Servants looked at the scene with a blank look on their faces. The scene? Gilgamesh and Ozymandias got commically impaled by multiple stakes. The cause? A very angry Vlad III who is now adjusting Elizabeth's costumes and checked if there was any damage remains on the costumes.

Nightingale and Robin Hood looked at each other and sighed.

"Shall we tell this to Master?"

"That is the best way to solve problems."

 **End**

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 **You can now submit your suggested laws here!**

 **Criticism is welcome!**


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